Reading Jesus: Theology of Love.
About four years ago I led a spirituality group for homeless heroin addicts at a methadone clinic in a large hosptial in California. I’ll never forget the look the clinic director’s face when I approached her about leading a spirituality group for her patients. She was delighted, but told me that some people believe these were the “worst of the worst”; that no one wanted anything to with them; these are the folks who had burned every bridge in their lives.
She asked, “Are you sure you want to do this? Do you have any idea what you are getting yourself into?”
One person, one of my “more spiritual” friends with a disgusted look on her face asked why in the world I would want to work with homeless heroin addicts? She asked, “Didn’t they CHOOSE that life for themselves? Don’t deserve what they get?
Strangely enough, “Bobby” a 38 year-old toothless addict asked me on the first day, “Why do you care? Why would you want to spend time with us?” The only thing that went through my heart and mind was the words of Jesus, “What you do to the least of these you do to me.”
The only thing I can really remember saying to “Bobby” and the others, was that we need each other; for I knew that there wasn’t much difference between me and “Bobby”. Granted, if you look only at the “externals” there was a huge difference, but deep inside we were the same. I may have ever been addicted to heroin, but I have given myself up to power, property, and prestige and lost in the illusion of being king of the world and the star of the show. “Bobby” may have torn his flesh with a needle to control and numb his pain, but I’ve torn the flesh of others with sarcasm to control and numb mine. I may have never been homeless, but I know what it’s like to be homesick for God. I may have never slept with the devil, but I know what is like to flirt with him while tip-toeing on a tight-rope at the edges of hell.
And I knew that If Jesus had made room at God’s table for me, then I better scoot over and make room for “Bobby”… ‘cause Jesus said “Bobby” was invited too.
See like “Bobby”, I too know what it’s like to be lost… and gasp and grasp at life in an effort to fill the void in my soul, but only by the grace of God do I know what it is like to be found. I’ve felt the ringing in my ears as the angels sang amazing grace… and I sensed they wanted to do an encore for “Bobby”.
And perhaps that is why I was there.
It was about seven weeks later in the back corner of the methadone clinic waiting area that I sat in a one-on-one session with “Bobby” while he sobbed like a baby and said to me, “I’ve been waiting for someone like you my entire life.” “Since you started the group, I don’t know what happened, but when I go home at night I don’t want to watch TV anymore…all I do is think about God. I didn’t know God could actually love someone like me. I want my life to change. I don’t want to live like this anymore… I want God to do something with me.”
And as we sat there in the silence of the moment, if you listened carefully, you could hear the angels in heaven stand-up… clear their throats… and begin to sing…
for “Bobby” was being found.
As I Read Jesus, I don’t think he intended to start an institutional religion; as best as I can understand Jesus, he had one theology; one understanding of God, his Father, and that is — love. I know the tempatation is to say , “Yea, but…” Usually when I find myself saying “Yea, but…” I can pretty much assure you that my theology and Jesus’s theology are not in alignment.
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