Since I seem to have been posting rather heavy entries lately, here’s something that might qualify as mildly amusing. I was looking through a bag of my old school papers, writing, and artwork today and came across this — a report on lasers I wrote in fifth grade. The entire class had been given a choice to either participate in the school chorus or write a report. When given that set of options, I decided without hesitation that writing a report sounded like the more fun of the two — I was one of only two people in the class who had this take on the situation. (Most people apparently preferred group singing to hanging about in the library).
Clicking on the picture will probably make the text legible, but in case you can’t parse the penmanship of a ten-year-old, the report reads:
The laser is a new, high-tech object. ‘Laser’ is an acronym, meaning, Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation. Lasers are light beams that are usually red, unless dyed with gases.
Lasers can reach the moon with very little spread. Though no laser-weapons have been invented, lasers can be used for aiming weapons.
They are used in operating rooms for surgery, commonly of the eyes. Lasers can be small and thin, so burning away a disease of the eye, and then fusing the eye skin back together will be easy and take 5 minutes or less.
They make good knifes[sic], because they can cut metal without leaving jagged edges.
Lasers work by a ruby in a glass tube, sending off light. Putting ordinary light through a prism will create rainbows; laser light will not make rainbows.
Lasers are new inventions, and getting better every day. Pretty soon, science-fiction will come true.
by, Anne Corwin
It’s just funny to look back and read that kind of thing now, because there are aspects of my writing style and overall tone that really don’t seem to have changed much. And of course, there’s the “Pretty soon, science-fiction will come true” bit — Future Transhumanists of America, anyone?
EDIT: I found a whole slew of “inventions” and diagrams from when I was between the ages of about 8 and 10; see them here. For entertainment purposes only, of course.
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